Chapter 46
1314words
A two hours drive to the next city was not something I thought I would be doing anytime soon. I told Kimberly I was going to visit my cousin Brent in New York, but the truth is I'm actually going to San Diego to see Xander.
In a few hours, I get to Xander's apartment, I pull out my phone and call him.
"I'm here."
I find him waiting at the door.
He smiles and I return it, then give him a bro hug.
"Man it feels like ages since I last saw you," he says as he steps inside the house and i follow behind him, closing the door.
He offers me a drink and then sits on the chair,facing the couch I'm sitting on.
"How are you dealing? Still purging?"
"Yes," I nod. "I hate the fact that I'm lying to Kimberly, I don't want it to be like this."
Xander sighs.
I've been filling him in over the phone on everything that has been happening since someone from my past life came back, trying to get back into my life. It's not just any typical old fling that I can easily push away and avoid, this was someone that meant the world to me once.
My phone rings and i look up at Xander.
"It's her," I say.
"Shit,what are you going to do about it?"
"I've tried to push her away but she won't budge."
He stares ahead and something changes in his eyes.
"Mate," He looks at me again. "Is she going to be a threat to your feelings for Kimberly?"
Our eyes lock and there's silence for three seconds, he has the answer even without me saying it.
"Fuckkk...she was your first true love?"
I just look at him without giving an answer.
He briefly closes his eyes and curses again.
"Do you still have feelings for her?"
"I don't know Xan, all I know is that things didn't end with a conversation between us, she just left,just like that, without a reason and i almost died because of that."
"Did you ever try to reach out to her?"
"She blocked everyone we shared as mutual friends and had her relatives block me as well. I couldn't get to her, I couldn't reach her, and now that things are right for me, she just shows up?"
"That's messed up."
"I'm mad at her, I spent all this time turning my love for her to hate, I was so sure I never wanted to see her again in my entire life, but now that she's reappeared.."
I run my fingers through my hair.
"You're not sure if you do hate her or still have feelings for her."
He finishes the words that I can't, because it feels like I'm betraying Kimberly.
"Maybe it's because you want answers and not because you still feel something for her. Maybe you just want closure, to finally put everything to rest."
"You're right, maybe I just need to know why she did it."
* *Seven Years Ago* *
Eighth grade. 14 years old.
"Is Marisa coming?"
My mom mocks, knowing full well that I don't like having girl crush talks with her.
I'd been crushing on Marisa since I was in fifth grade and eleven years old, she was the first girl I ever liked. She was so pretty,with big round brown eyes and beautiful soft hair. She also had the most gorgeous smile and was the first girl I kissed while playing truth or dare with our friends, well let's just say, we were each others first kiss.
Her mom and mine were close friends, so I spent much time crushing on her, the more older I got, the more obsessed I became with her. I watched her grow into a very hot and beautiful girl, with her cute little jiggly ass and small breasts.
And when I got to seventh grade, I found myself wanting to beat up every boy who liked,touched or looked at her in the not so friendly kind of way. Telling her I liked her wouldn't have been a problem, I just didn't want to, I preferred watching her, especially when she wasn't aware i was around, those goofy and carefree moments of here's were the ones I kept safely locked away.
I knew she liked me too because I'd caught her staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking, and she definitely kicked every girls butt and gave them hell for months when she learned they liked it had a crush on me.
Marisa's beauty and confidence made her pretty popular, she was the queen of our school and leader of the most famous group if hot girls, the cheerleaders.
"I told you I'm not going to talk about that with you, mom."
"Oh sweetie, everyone knows you really like that girl."
"Mom,stop."
"Okay, okay," she chuckles.
I give her a kiss on the cheek and leave for school.
Joining the football team is something I had always wanted, now that I made it into this school, i became pretty good at it. Well I wouldn't want to brag, but I'm excellent at it, which now makes me the famous guy who hangs out with guys from tenth grade.
"Hey Brandon," Stella, one of the seniors smiles at me. At fourteen years old, I'm really tall for my age.
"Hi Stella."
"This is Mia, my little sister, she has a crush on you."
"Stella!" Mia pokes her sister with her elbow. "Shut up, this wasn't part of the plan," she hisses.
"Well, my job is done, I gotta run," she turns and walks away, leaving her little sister in an awkward situation.
I actually know Mia, she's hard to miss since her sister is one of the hottest mean bitches who think the run the school, Mia is following her sister's footsteps in the looks department.
"So Mia, would you like to come over for some movies at my home?"
Her eyes widen, she quickly collects herself and clears her throat.
"Sure, I'd love that."
Well movies with Mia didn't happen because apparently, my little crush got a bit too jealous and warned her to stay away, since she's nothing like her elder sister, Mia backed off. Of course I confronted Marisa about it and she ended up admitting that she really like me, and that was the start of our relationship as girlfriend and boyfriend which ended in ashes at the beginning of eleventh grade, when she left without a single word and blocked me out of her life.
* * Present* *
I spent one year healing over what she had done to me, then my mom got married and we moved to Blackwool, where i met my asshole stepbrother, then i found out he had a girlfriend, a very beautiful one at that,with the most mesmerising eyes I've ever seen, he loved her so much, so I went for her. At first, it was to spite him but then i ended up falling in love with her too.
And now my past is back, Marisa, she's back, I know she won't stop until she gets what she wants, she won't back down until she ruins everything i have built with Kimberly.
Now, the billion dollar question is,
Will I bend to what she wants? Because at this point, I don't know what to do and i sure as crap don't know what I feel for her, because the chaos has already started just by her voice saying she never meant to leave me and she's sorry.
I walked away after she said those words, I couldn't stand her lying to me, but then my mind hasn't been letting me be. Xander is right, I need to know the answers to my questions then maybe, I can finally put "us" to rest.
