Chapter 129
1100words
My mom became flustered at my sudden outburst and didn't know what to do except for watching me with a gobsmacked expression at how my body was quacking from all the laughter. The waitress that had served us before came to our table with a concerned face. "Is there something the matter dear costumer?" She asked, her eyes glancing from my mom to me. Tears were spilling from my eyes and I had to wipe them away. Clutching at my stomach that had started to hurt I shook my head. "No-no there's nothing going on. She just told me an amazing joke. Sorry for the disturbance." I said between snickers before quieting down and giving the woman an assuring smile.
She nodded her head hesitantly and walked away but not before throwing a wearily eye at us. Seeing how everything was alright everybody in the store went back to what they were doing, minding their own business.
Bringing my attention back to my mother I said as I exhaled with a smile, "Phew that was a good laugh. Sorry what you just said sounded so ridiculous that I just had to a laugh. Do you honestly think that I would say 'yeah sure!' and let you drag me to the depths of hell to rip me a new one?" I laughed dryly. I would rather jump over a bridge then go through something like that again. Besides I'm already a full grown adult with her own apartment.
Mom's hands formed into a pair of fists on the table beside the coffee mug. "Jeremy isn't like that." She said quietly.
I scoffed. "Yeah, I am sure that he hasn't revealed his snake skin yet. Greg was also able to hold on to his façade until dad's life insurance started to fill his bank account-"
SLAM!
Both her fists slammed down on the table causing the cups on the table to wobble from the sudden turbulence. The whole café fell into silence with everybody's attention once again back to us.
"I said that Jeremey wasn't like that. He's nothing like that disgusting pig." She gritted. Her hands that were tightly clenched trembled as her eyes were smoldering with resentment that wasn't directed at me, but at Greg.
Quietly, with arms folded in front of my chest I stared at her before ushering in a quiet voice. "Then what is he like?"
At the question I visibly saw how her tense hands started to relax and her anger diminishing away as if at the thought of this new man extinguished any anger that resided in her. "He's like your father," She said with soft smile on her face as her eyes settled on my face.
Vertical lines appeared between my brows disapprovingly hearing mom comparing a guy who she hasn't known for long to dad. "He's a sweet, kind patient man with a dash of mischievousness." She chuckled lightly, looking at her own reflection in the coffee. "He makes me want to be a better person. I wouldn't be sitting here with you if it wasn't for his support."
My lips were pressing into a tight grimace. I brought my hands up briefly covering my face to mutter under a heavy breath before pulling them away, "He made you want to become a better person?"
My voice that dropped to a quiet whisper didn't reach mom's ears making her snap away from her happy thoughts, "What did you say?"
The hollowness in my heart expanded causing my chest to cave in as I let out a forceful breath trying to keep my voice even and steady. "He made you want to become a person. But I, your child, your flesh and blood wasn't enough of a motivation to become a better person?" My voice that came out strained was laced with melancholy and every word that left my mouth tasted bitter.
Realizing the mistake that she had made mom's eyes grew wide and she was swift to reach for my hand, "No April, it's not like that." She shook her head vehemently while holding my hand with both of her hands, but I withdrew my hand letting it slump lonesome at my side. "Don't say that when it is exactly like that."
I casted my eyes down at my hands, not wanting to look her in the eyes anymore in fear that I would tear up as I already felt the rim of my eyes starting to go red and my jaw trembling. "Back when dad had just died and you found solace with alcoholic drinks no matter how much I begged you, you would only give me empty promises to shut me up, but when a guy comes along and shows a little bit of his teeth you throw yourself in rehab."
"April I-"
It hurts.
"You were never there when I was sick, neglecting me. I was lucky if you even remembered that you had a child that you needed to feed, and it only became worse after you started to fall for Greg." I spat his name out in disgust as saying it tasted like a mouthful of food gone bad. "You let him beat me, belittle me, scar me and touch me inappropriately."
It hurts. My throat is burning, my vision is getting blurry and my mouth keeps blabbering away the contents that was kept away in my heart. Each time I spoke the more my voice started to become feeble and thin- breaking at the end of each sentence.
"Please April, I never meant-"
"Mom!" I called her with a hoarse voice, looking up from my empty hands to look in the brown eyes that started to tear up once they saw the broken look in my face. As I blinked with my eyes trying to clear up my vision I felt how tears were gliding down my cheeks. Few drops trickled from my chin down on the back of my hand and I realized that I was crying.
Huge body-shaking sobs racked my body, each coming in a wave, and, with every sob, I let out a low whimper making it even more difficult for me to annunciate anything,
"Did you…ever love me?" I whimpered lowly.
